The Bridal Industry Confuses Me

So as you all are probably aware, I am scheduled to be married on January 5th, 2013. This should be one of the happiest times of my life. I am planning my dream wedding. Heck, the man let me get the photo booth that I wanted. This is my time! Well, turns out my time is not as fun as I had originally thought it to be. What is the one thing that every bride thinks will be the most amazing and inspiring experience? That's right... trying on and choosing her wedding dress. Unfortunately, I am off to a really rocky, and defeated, start.

The Breathtaking Bride

I am just like any other bride. I have been pouring over bridal magazines and of course, The Knot. I had a great idea of what dresses would look good on my figure and what styles that I really thought would fit my rustic vintage themed wedding. I made my first bridal appointment at a salon that carried two of my favorite (and more importantly, affordable) lines, Eden Bridal and La Sposa. The salon looked to have a boutique feel and since it was run by a Mother/Daughter team I thought it seemed like a sweet and special place to book my first appointment. Well, as I have learned many times in my life: Never judge a book by it's cover.

I brought 2 bridesmaids and a friend to the appointment with me, which I later learned just made me more nervous about the way that I look. Being a busty size 12, I usually rock self confidence because well, it is the better option. I am perpetually on the quest to be thinner but I don't let myself get caught up in the drudgery of it... until I realize how important my wedding dress is/was to me. I carried with me a list of all the styles that this salon carried that I wanted to try on. The consultant had about 25 to choose from so I thought I would get a good sampling. I was wrong. Sample size is an 8, didn't you know that? And didn't you know that actually mean size 6?

My consultant seemed friendly and considerate at first but later I would describe it as indifferent. The ONE dress that this salon had from my list, she carried into the fitting room. She said it's a size 8, sorry its our sample size. I looked her in the eye and said "That is not going to fit me.". She seemed to think I don't know my own body. "Let's just try to pull it over your head." to which I replied, " I know that dress is not going to fit me." She didn't care. We put that dress, multiple sizes too small over my head and proceeded to get it stuck on my shoulders. In the process of trying to YANK it off of me, the hooks in the beautiful corseted back, got stuck in my hair, which she also pulled in the process. I could immediately feel myself welling up with tears. Here I was in just my underwear with a woman I didn't know, yanking me out of the first dress. OK, Amanda. Settle down. Pull it together. You are tougher than this.

Since this was my first appointment ever, I agreed to try on multiple different styles. Consultant brought in all different kinds. The next dress would be better. The next dress she put on me, legit made me look like something out of princess horror film. It had to have been 30 pounds of dress, all taffeta and HUGE. I told consultant that I did not want to go show my friends this dress, that it was too too bad. "But you have to show them, they came here to see you in dresses". This was when she whipped the curtain open and pretty much made me show my friends. Friend 1 said "next." As you can imagine, my self esteem was plummeting at a rapid rate, which I know is partially my own fault. The next few dresses are better. She whipped out some her plus sized samples, I mean we are talking a size 20 to clip me into. We decide fit and flare looks best on me. Consultant keeps tying jeweled belts around my waist when I have told her multiple time that I do not like that aspect of dresses. She doesn't care. It's her wedding after all. The last dress I tried on was absolutely gorgeous. It was simple, it was sleek and I could totally imagine myself getting married in it. My friends agreed. Consultant couldn't leave it at that. She tied a jeweled belt around my waist. I started crying. This, at the time, was a most miserable experience for me. I felt fat, like my consultant wasn't listening to me AT ALL and like I would never feel that special feeling you are supposed to when trying on a wedding dress. We left and I wrote a seething yelp review. I will not be buying this dress from this salon. It was decided.

J.Crew Dresses I LOVE

Fast forward to this week. I decided after perusing some dresses online, that J. Crew had some sweet, simple, affordable options that I could accessorize the sh!t out of. I called to make an appointment for when both our mothers are up next week. On the initial phone call, the consultant asked me what size I was. Since I just tried on their bridesmaid dresses last week, I confidently said that the 14 was more comfortable. The seemingly young sales associate says "Oh, well our sample sizes are only 8's... I guess we just won't be able to zip anything up." *Cue self esteem taking a hit.* "Ok, that's fine, I just want to get a good idea of what it will look like". She instructed me to email her the styles and she would look to see what they had even available. At the end of the day, another associate found my styles and told me ahead of time what sizes they had in store but instructed me to actually purchase dresses in my size if I wanted to have them for the appointment. I only had to purchase one, because they actually had a 12, GASP, in my favorite, which will be easily returned if not the one but I am left feeling so confused about this whole industry.

Admittedly, I am not the thinnest woman out there but I can confidently say that I represent a great number of women in the 10-16 size range that would love to see a dress on their body in a remotely similar size. Also, when working with brides, I would like to think that I would have some compassion and overall more intensified sensitivity to the pressure of the situation, you know? Most bride's are paying the most they hav ever spent on clothing, on this special dress... My friends tell me that I just need to try another salon, that the experience will be better but at this point, the excitement is gone and I just kind of want to get it over with. That's not exactly how I am supposed to feel, right? The man says I'll look gorgeous no matter what, which is nice. Here's hoping the J.Crew appointment next week goes well and one of the dresses work because if not, I will just go to David's Bridal, where expectations are low... therefore I won't be disappointed.(Side Note: I have friends who have gotten lovely dresses at David's Bridal. It was the service I have experience being iffy)

Am I the only one who has felt this way?